Super Ears - When Your Child with APD Can Hear Whispers From Across the Room

We jokingly say that our sweet Hailey has super ears.  With her particular aspects of auditory processing disorder, she can hear sounds far away as if they were close by.  Due to this ability, we cannot whisper anything and expect her not to hear it.

When she was just a little toddler, I remember having her sitting in the grocery cart in front of me while I strolled down the aisles.  Suddenly she would start nervously repeating "Baby! Baby! Baby!" and sucking her fingers and rubbing her "nonny" (her little blanket she carried around for comfort).  This was my sign that she was in distress and she was telling me why: some baby somewhere was crying.  So I would stop and listen and sure enough, somewhere in the distance, across the store, there was just the faintest sound of some infant crying.  It was uncanny how she could do this over and over again.

Now that our sweet Hailey is 12 years old, we forget sometimes that she can do this amazing hearing thing and we'll whisper something in an adjoining room to where she is. Of course, like most parents, we think we are speaking "privately" by doing this, but sure enough when we walk in the room with our girl, she asks a question or makes a comment that reminds us that she hears us, even when we think she does not.

Of course, with Hailey's auditory processing disorder, she hasn't always processed what she heard us whisper correctly and then we are left with either having to explain everything or say, "Sweetie, we didn't mean for you to hear that and we'd rather not talk about it with you."  To which comment she sighs, understanding and yet feeling left out.  (Then I worry that I need to talk to her because I have no idea what she thinks she heard.)

Does APD affect you or your child in this way?  Do you or he/she have super ears?

Lindsey Wagner from the 1970's television show "The Bionic Woman" (in the show her character had a bionic ear and could hear sounds from extremely far away).

"You tell me a story...." A poem by a 17 year old with Auditory Processing Disorder

I posted this on my webpage today, but then I realized that I would love to have it here, directly on the blog as well. (Sometimes I just post little snippets of things on the webpage directly, so if you haven't found us on Facebook, check out the link in the left-hand margins of this page.)

This is a lovely poem written by a 17 year old.  Her mother shared it in one of our support groups and I was so excited about it, I got permission to share it right away. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.


"You tell me a story
But all I hear is a sentence
You tell me how you feel
But all I see is an expression
You tell me where to go
But all I see is a pointing finger
You tell me a secret
But it's already forgotten
You tell me what to do
But all I hear is confusion
I'm not one for gossip
I don't like the rumours
I'm not one for playing instruments
The music only runs through me
I'm not one for socializing
Although I like to see you smile
I'm not one for jokes
But I'll laugh with you
I'm not one to listen
But at least I tried"

By: Amy Feltham

Processing Conversations with Auditory Processing Disorder: You Don't Always Understand

A few days ago I posted on Facebook a quote from a young woman* with auditory processing disorder.  She described how she understands maybe only a few words in a conversation and uses body language and context to try to figure out what the other person is saying.  Well, I knew my daughter did this to some extent, but I hadn't really been paying as close attention to this in a long time.  

At home, in an ideal environment with people she is very familiar with, my Hailey actually does very well at understanding most things; her only real difficulties at home seem to be in watching television as she often misses the conversations there.  That really isn't a problem though as we just pause the tv (we use a dvr and it is wonderful for this reason) and help her understand if she wants the help.  Of course most of the time she is content to just half-understand the words spoken, because let's face it, television is not usually very complex and is highly visual.

So we were going along in our nice little world of home without thinking too much of the real difficulties Hailey has with understanding what people say.  Socially, she has friends and the group aspect of conversations still make it too difficult to follow a conversation, so she just follows along at the edges of the group.  With her close friends, she has one-on-one conversations and that works well. We knew this and felt okay with it all.  However, with the information from the young woman that I posted on my Facebook page, I started paying more attention to where maybe her lack of understanding is causing her real problems.

As many of you know, Hailey ice skates.  She is also in a theater on ice class, which she really enjoys.  Mostly, she just has to follow along with what the others are doing and takes in her input visually.  Yes, she has to follow the music to stay on beat, but luckily she does not have the prosodic form of APD and so can hear the beat of the music well enough.  Well, her troupe is starting to learn a new program and her coach has decided to allow each skater some more individual input.  With this is mind, her coach took her aside to talk to her about what character she would like to be in the upcoming program; her coach has become aware that Hailey does not comprehend well in the group setting and so kindly spoke to her privately, making eye contact.

Hailey didn't want to make eye contact, kept shrugging her shoulders, and desperately wanted me to speak for her.  I tried to help without interfering and tried to encourage her to speak for herself; she is 12 years old and can handle these things. She did okay, but it was clear that she doesn't understand as much as I would have thought.  Later in the car, alone with me, she said some things to me about the conversation she had with her coach and she got quite a few things very wrong; she thought she heard things that were never said.

So even though her coach spoke to her one-on-one and she had me there to help, Hailey still didn't process it all.  The surrounding factors, I believe, were:

• she was already worn out from a full day of skating and socializing to her ability in a group;
• her coach has an accent;
• she is somewhat intimidated by her coach even though she really likes her a lot - she sees her coach as someone with a lot of authority and also as someone she wants to please and yet doesn't always understand; 
• and she is afraid that she might choose the wrong character in this particular scenario and end up in a situation that is too hard for her. (Talk about anxiety!)

All of this just helps me to realize that my sweet Hailey works really hard to make sense of what she does hear and unfortunately, she still misunderstands quite a bit if not in an ideal situation with a familiar context.  Being homeschoolers, I forget how much this is a problem because she is in an ideal environment most of the time and she is very familiar with our speaking styles and not at all intimidated by us. 



*Kendra Ross: "I have been called a liar by teachers, students.... I understand that APD is so hard to deal with and not understanding what someone is saying to you; the best thing I do that helps me when someone is talking to me and I have no idea what they are saying is reading their body language. If that doesn't work even if I don't understand what someone is saying, I use whatever words I do hear, and replay that back to them. Like today this one girl in my class was telling me about what she is going to do for her video, and it was a long hallway, she slurred. I had no clue what she was talking about until i got these words "needed.........talk.......teacher". Even though it was just 3 words, I got that she needed to talk to our video teacher about what she is going to do for her final. Then I wished her good luck. Now if I'm having a bad day, then I will just nod at the appropriate times until the conversation is over. Which happens, but it's best to try and understand the situation, even if it only 1 piece of info. It is key to have your [children] develop the skill of understanding a situation even just on body language. And the most important skill is understanding the situation and filling in the blanks. Hope this helps."

Reading Parents Influence Children to Read

Yesterday, my sweet 12 year old was talking to me about reading.  She told me that reading was very hard for her to learn and it still takes a lot of work, even though she enjoys it and finds it valuable.

Then she thought for a while and told me that she desperately had wanted to learn to read when she was little because I am her mommy and I love to write and read all the time.  She wanted to be like me.

I'm not sure what to think of that.  I am flattered that she wanted to do something that I really enjoy, but I hope that I haven't influenced her in ways to be someone different than whom she is.

-----So I read this post to her and she smiled and laughed.  Then she told me that she wants to be an artist - not a writer - and so that is nothing like me. "Don't you know little girls want to be like their moms until they get older!" she added.

(I suppose I have learned to do a lot more arts and crafts due to her, too.  So maybe children influence their parents as well.)

Reading with a Toddler who Only Likes the Pictures (APD and the small child)

When my sweet Hailey was a toddler, she hated for me to read books to her.  Her twin brother absolutely loved it and would crawl in my lap for me to read to him as much as possible.  She, on the other hand, would crawl into my lap and put her hands on my lips to signal me to stop talking!  She just wanted to sit in my lap and look at the pictures in the books.

So I let her take the lead on these book experiences for us.  She would point to something in the book and give me that longing look of "What is that?" and I would use a one-word answer, "Train". Together we would go through the books with her pointing and either telling me or asking me what each thing was.  This was how Hailey enjoyed books for many years, and I'm sure it aided in her vocabulary development.

Sensory Processing Disorder Tips for School

(Here is another wonderful guest post: This time by an occupational therapist about Sensory Processing Disorder.)

By- Cara Koscinki MOT, OTR/L                                                                                                              

Author of The Pocket Occupational Therapist-A Handbook for Caregivers of Children with Special Needs. Questions and answers most frequently asked to OTs with easy to understand answers and fun activities you can do with your child. www.pocketot.com

Sensory processing disorders affect up to one in every twenty children and the numbers keep rising.  More research is being done to look at the causes and frequency of sensory processing disorders (SPD). In fact, the name has even been changed from Sensory Integration Dysfunction as our understanding and knowledge base has increased.  SPD is a complex disorder of the brain, which results in difficulty with processing information that comes from our senses.  It is important to realize that there are more than just the five senses we have learned about.  Information is taken in from touch, smell, vision, hearing, taste, vestibular, and proprioceptive receptors.  Vestibular receptors are responsible for detecting changes in position in space, balance, and movement.  Proprioceptive receptors provide information about body awareness, position, and posture.  Throughout our lives, we are constantly bombarded with information we receive through the eight senses and we must successfully integrate this information to make sense of it and form an appropriate response. There are times when the response we form do not match the information we have received.  For example, a student may have a panic type response when another child simply brushes against him in line.  Another example is when a student feels pain when wearing clothing with tags or seams.

Children and adults who have SPD can have successful lives.  Knowing how to adapt the environment and keep a regular "diet" of activities that provide a balance of the sensory system is important.  Seeking help from an occupational therapist is key to determining what sensory areas are hyper (more), hypo (low), or mixed.  For example, someone may be hyper-sensitive to sound and light, but not feel pain or deep touch as strongly as the person next to them.  Everyone is different and determining which specific areas are heightened or low is the key to making a successful treatment plan. 

Many hours every day are spent at school and work.  Knowing how to make accommodations and adaptations to the environment around your child can help greatly! 

Handwriting Hints

• Offer different sized grippers for children who have difficulty holding onto pencils correctly
• Use mechanical pencils for children who do not apply enough pressure to their pencil.
• Break crayons or pencils in half to help children to develop grasp.  Often, kids will hold onto the pencil with all of their fingers if the pencil is too large for little hands.
• Add a Popsicle stick or stamp between words to work on spacing.
• Use a highlighter for top, middle, and/or base lines to help children to realize where lines are on the paper.  Use a different color for each line
• Use a sticker on the top right side of the paper as a reminder of the way the paper should be positioned.
• Use colored pencils instead of crayons for children who do not like the smell or texture of crayons.

Sensory Activities for School

• Allow children frequent breaks at school for movement.  Ideas include:  doing push-ups against the wall, doing jumping jacks, or running in place.
• Give students who fidget a strip of carpet or Velcro taped to the bottom of the desk.
• Allow students to use a manual pencil sharpener
• Place heavy exercise bands around the front legs of the chair to press shins up against for resistance.
• Use chewable jewelry such as Chewlery or place heavy clear aquarium tubing onto the ends of pencils.  Giving kids input to oral muscles can be especially calming when they are concentrating.
• Pack lunches that include crunchy snacks to work mouth muscles.
• Use the smallest straws possible to drink liquids from.  Drink boxes have nice, small straws that cause the mouth muscles to work harder.
• Carry a backpack with books between classes.
• Allow students who need it to use weighted lap pads during class.  You can easily make them out of rice, beans, sand, or pellets.

Organization Ideas

• Allow students to look at a schedule for the day.  If possible, post the schedule on the student's desk or within sight.  Knowing what to expect is important.
• Ask schools to give students an extra set of books for home use.  This will cause less stress in trying to determine which books need to come home at the end of the day and will alleviate the stress/anxiety of forgetting books.
• Provide organizers or planners for students with enough space for both the parent and teacher to make notes.  This will also help with daily communication between school and home.
• Color code folders and binders by subject. 
• Provide all of the necessary supplies in a pocket or box on the desk.  Fumbling around for supplies is extremely distracting.
• Step by step directions and use of pictures when possible will help with difficulty when following instructions.   Make sure students can repeat the directions back to you.

It is important that the student is supported by a team approach.  The parent, school psychologist, counselor, and teachers must all be aware of a child's sensory needs and must know how to correctly accommodate the school for success.  No one wants to see a student fail and most importantly, children have a desire to be successful.  Every child can succeed if given the chance and it is up to us to modify their environment for success!

For more information, contact Cara Koscinski at www.pocketot.com                                                         

Her book, The Pocket Occupational Therapist can be purchased wherever books are sold.

© Cara Koscinski

Talking Holograms in Museums Can be Overwhelming for Someone with Auditory Processing Disorder

Our homeschooling social group went to a local science museum today.  My boys went off with their friends and another mom, while my daughter Hailey and her friend went in another direction with me.  Socially, it was a great experience for all of my children as they really like the kids they hung out with today.  However, on an academic level, I did notice how Hailey’s auditory processing disorder made its presence known, yet again.

This particular science museum has added a whole area with holograms that speak to you as you view the displays.  This is an amazing thing to see and really quite fascinating on its own.  It would definitely be an awesome value-added experience, EXCEPT, each display is so close to the others that you hear about 4 or 5 of them all going off at the same time.  Poor Hailey with auditory processing disorder kept saying how terribly noisy it was in there and how distracting the speaking holograms were.  So all that money and technology that was intended to make the museum experience more enriching, just made my sweet girl want to hurry out of the exhibit hall, missing more than half of what was there to see. 

I think we long for the old days of museums with displays and placards to read.  Even before Hailey could read herself, I would read the placards to my children; my one momma’s voice speaking in the rate they could process while editing out whatever words were too far above their comprehension level, was much more effective.