So yes, this is blatant advertising. My sweet girl is wanting to sell her work and share her art with others. Her Facebook page "HaileyDreams" is also administered by her (with me watching over as she is only 13) and she posts wonderfully inspiring quotes along with pictures of her latest dreamcatchers and some of her other art as well.
Showing posts with label the teen years. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the teen years. Show all posts
Monday, March 31, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Being a Teenager and Socializing with Auditory Processing Disorder - It's Very Difficult!
How is it that I can send my sweet girl of 13 over to a teen night at a friend's house full of happiness and hope and feeling good about herself only to pick her up in tears. This auditory processing disorder keeps making her social life so hard!
She has never handled group socializing very well because she simply cannot keep up with the quick processing needed to talk in a group. She can't "jump in" because she can't even decipher half the time what she is jumping into and by the time she does, the moment has passed and it is too late.
The last time, she came home telling me how a nice boy (the host of the party) told her she could get a drink. She said no thank you and was processing what to say to "keep the conversation going" (we've been working on conversational strategies), but she said he turned and walked away before she could get the words out of her mouth.
Another group problem for her with auditory processing disorder is the sheer noise of too many people talking at once. She says that she cannot even hear her own voice well and doesn't want to shout (shouting to her feels aggressive and she can't stand the sound of it when others do it and so certainly doesn't want to do it herself) but she thinks maybe people don't hear her because when she says hello or tries to speak to someone, she said they often ignore her like she's not even there.
So I keep scouring the internet for advice but always come up empty-handed. Her and I can practice good social skills all we want, but others do not follow the same plan and so it just doesn't work. Teenagers do not socialize according to proper manners or etiquette. Teenagers do not take on the responsibility of making sure everyone is included or wait for someone to process a response - they move on quickly to the next excitement beckoning them. This is normal for teenagerdome - and really most of human interactions in general.
So the teenager that cannot process auditory input or output quickly, who cannot decipher words among a cacophony of talking, and who already feels like all this auditory is difficult and stressful enough already...........well, that teenager has to find an alternative plan. We're working on it!
*** I'm sure Hailey would love to hear how other teenagers with auditory processing disorder (or adults who have lived through it) are coping socially in their lives. So if you have a story to share or some helpful advice or even just the pep talk of "It get's better", please share.
She has never handled group socializing very well because she simply cannot keep up with the quick processing needed to talk in a group. She can't "jump in" because she can't even decipher half the time what she is jumping into and by the time she does, the moment has passed and it is too late.
The last time, she came home telling me how a nice boy (the host of the party) told her she could get a drink. She said no thank you and was processing what to say to "keep the conversation going" (we've been working on conversational strategies), but she said he turned and walked away before she could get the words out of her mouth.
Another group problem for her with auditory processing disorder is the sheer noise of too many people talking at once. She says that she cannot even hear her own voice well and doesn't want to shout (shouting to her feels aggressive and she can't stand the sound of it when others do it and so certainly doesn't want to do it herself) but she thinks maybe people don't hear her because when she says hello or tries to speak to someone, she said they often ignore her like she's not even there.
So I keep scouring the internet for advice but always come up empty-handed. Her and I can practice good social skills all we want, but others do not follow the same plan and so it just doesn't work. Teenagers do not socialize according to proper manners or etiquette. Teenagers do not take on the responsibility of making sure everyone is included or wait for someone to process a response - they move on quickly to the next excitement beckoning them. This is normal for teenagerdome - and really most of human interactions in general.
So the teenager that cannot process auditory input or output quickly, who cannot decipher words among a cacophony of talking, and who already feels like all this auditory is difficult and stressful enough already...........well, that teenager has to find an alternative plan. We're working on it!
 |
| click here to see the blog post at adpwarrior17 from which this quote was taken |
*** I'm sure Hailey would love to hear how other teenagers with auditory processing disorder (or adults who have lived through it) are coping socially in their lives. So if you have a story to share or some helpful advice or even just the pep talk of "It get's better", please share.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Que Sera Sera ---- Can we help calm the anxiety over the future that comes with the teenage years?
Lately my sweet girl has been asking me what her life will be like when she grows up. Will she be married; will she have children; will she be an occupational therapist or should she do something else; will college be hard; will she find a job; will she live near me; and on and on.
Usually I tell her that she will do what she wants to do and if she wants to get married, then she will, etc. I tell her that we make our paths in life by our actions and our hearts and that she must follow her heart and do what seems right to her. In the end though, my comforting words don't provide her much comfort; it's all just too abstract perhaps for her age (just turned 13).
So lately that wonderfully simple song sung by Doris Day, "Que Sera Sera" has been sneaking its way into my thoughts. I wonder if these words would provide more comfort in their sheer statement of relax, don't worry, live and see what happens - a sort of wu wei* respect:
Usually I tell her that she will do what she wants to do and if she wants to get married, then she will, etc. I tell her that we make our paths in life by our actions and our hearts and that she must follow her heart and do what seems right to her. In the end though, my comforting words don't provide her much comfort; it's all just too abstract perhaps for her age (just turned 13).
So lately that wonderfully simple song sung by Doris Day, "Que Sera Sera" has been sneaking its way into my thoughts. I wonder if these words would provide more comfort in their sheer statement of relax, don't worry, live and see what happens - a sort of wu wei* respect:
"Que Sera, Sera"
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be
Will I be pretty
Will I be rich
Here's what she said to me
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead
Will we have rainbows
Day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Now I have Children of my own
They ask their mother
What will I be
Will I be handsome
Will I be rich
I tell them tenderly
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
What will be, will be
Que Sera, Sera
YouTube link to hear song: Que Sera Sera by Doris Day
How do you relieve your child's anxieties over the future?
*Wu Wei (press on the words wu wei here or above to go to the Wikipedia definition): Wu wei is a Taoist concept that when one lives in harmony with the Tao (nature, the natural way of things, truth, and any other concept of spiritual oneness), one responds effortlessly to any situations that arise and follows one's true path of being. It is often interpreted as "non-action" but this is too misleading I believe when one comes from a western philosophical mindset. Anyway, please forgive me if I have not done justice in my definition here.----- I loved my eastern philosophy classes back in my college days.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Having APD and Being Overwhelmed By Classes
So I told you all that I would keep you updated on Hailey's progress in taking academic type classes for the first time....
My sweet girl Hailey has auditory processing disorder, is homeschooled, almost 13, and decided to try taking some classes at a local homeschool center. She signed up for 4 classes that meet one day a week. At first, she was very excited about "going to school" and she loved seeing her friends and going to class with them and eating lunch together. However, it didn't take long before the novelty wore off and she was simply overwhelmed.
Her creative writing class ended up being so bad she had to quit. The teacher did not understand her needs and did a lot of auditory teaching (lecturing) without enough visual support for Hailey. None of the homework assignments were ever written down despite my speaking to the teacher, the principal, and even writing a letter to the principal which was then forwarded on to the other administrative staff. Futhermore, the teacher started seeing Hailey as a troublemaker because I, her mother, was constantly asking for more than this teacher wanted to give. The teacher had an attitude around Hailey and never said one nice word to her or about her work ever, nor did she meet any of our requests. Hailey was in tears just thinking about having to go and so we decided to just quit that class.
So Hailey continued to take tennis, art, and theater improv. The theater improv was not ideal, but it was working; this teacher was willing to make accommodations and find ways for Hailey to be successful in the class. For instance, she was able to recite a smaller memorized poem in class and to do it in sign language as well as speaking - which actually helped Hailey remember it better.
Lunch, which Hailey originally thought was exciting, quickly became "too noisy", "too many kids" and she felt she had to eat "too fast." Yesterday she actually asked me to stay and eat lunch with her in our car so that she could get away from it all and relax.
The classes are 12 weeks long and we have 2 more to go at this point. Hailey is really no longer interested in the classes and is simply finishing them up to have completed them. She has found that it takes so much energy just to be in the classes and try to process everything, that she is not sure it is worth the effort. She comes home exhausted and needs the whole next day just to unwind.
Unfortunately, she has also stopped putting so much effort into socializing with her friends at class and she just wants to avoid them. This makes me sad because she really likes these kids, but she is just too exhausted to try anymore. Yesterday she looked like she was practically cowering away from them as she held her head low and visibly shrunk her body as far away from them as she could; she never acts this way!
Despite it all, she still wants to take community college classes in a few years. She said she just wants to make sure she never has more than one class in a day.
My sweet girl Hailey has auditory processing disorder, is homeschooled, almost 13, and decided to try taking some classes at a local homeschool center. She signed up for 4 classes that meet one day a week. At first, she was very excited about "going to school" and she loved seeing her friends and going to class with them and eating lunch together. However, it didn't take long before the novelty wore off and she was simply overwhelmed.
Her creative writing class ended up being so bad she had to quit. The teacher did not understand her needs and did a lot of auditory teaching (lecturing) without enough visual support for Hailey. None of the homework assignments were ever written down despite my speaking to the teacher, the principal, and even writing a letter to the principal which was then forwarded on to the other administrative staff. Futhermore, the teacher started seeing Hailey as a troublemaker because I, her mother, was constantly asking for more than this teacher wanted to give. The teacher had an attitude around Hailey and never said one nice word to her or about her work ever, nor did she meet any of our requests. Hailey was in tears just thinking about having to go and so we decided to just quit that class.
So Hailey continued to take tennis, art, and theater improv. The theater improv was not ideal, but it was working; this teacher was willing to make accommodations and find ways for Hailey to be successful in the class. For instance, she was able to recite a smaller memorized poem in class and to do it in sign language as well as speaking - which actually helped Hailey remember it better.
Lunch, which Hailey originally thought was exciting, quickly became "too noisy", "too many kids" and she felt she had to eat "too fast." Yesterday she actually asked me to stay and eat lunch with her in our car so that she could get away from it all and relax.
The classes are 12 weeks long and we have 2 more to go at this point. Hailey is really no longer interested in the classes and is simply finishing them up to have completed them. She has found that it takes so much energy just to be in the classes and try to process everything, that she is not sure it is worth the effort. She comes home exhausted and needs the whole next day just to unwind.
Unfortunately, she has also stopped putting so much effort into socializing with her friends at class and she just wants to avoid them. This makes me sad because she really likes these kids, but she is just too exhausted to try anymore. Yesterday she looked like she was practically cowering away from them as she held her head low and visibly shrunk her body as far away from them as she could; she never acts this way!
Despite it all, she still wants to take community college classes in a few years. She said she just wants to make sure she never has more than one class in a day.
Monday, October 14, 2013
APD Makes Classroom Learning Hard: Having Auditory Processing Disorder and Taking Classes after Homeschooling
As many of you know, Hailey (7th grade) wants to take community college classes as a high-schooler, which is in two years. So we found a local homeschool center that offers classes to homeschoolers and she signed up for tennis, 3-D art, theater improv, and creative writing. This way she will have some exposure to taking classes before taking college level classes. (And she really is loving just having the experience of going to school and taking classes and eating lunch with her friends.)
This experience is really showing her and us just how much her auditory processing disorder affects her in a classroom environment. None of us really could have guessed how difficult some aspects of a classroom learning experience would be.
This experience is really showing her and us just how much her auditory processing disorder affects her in a classroom environment. None of us really could have guessed how difficult some aspects of a classroom learning experience would be.
As Hailey has some great coping skills and really relies a lot on the visual information she is inputting, she is doing very well in the tennis and 3-D art classes. She says that although she doesn't necessarily understand what the teachers are saying, she can see what they are demonstrating and so knows what to do. She has always done well at both art and anything physical.
The problems for Hailey are in the creative writing class and the theater improv class. The areas of difficulty so far are in understanding what is being taught orally, clearly knowing the directions told, and reproducing the spoken or written work under the pressure of time.
The creative writing class is taught by the teacher reading a poem and talking about the use of literary devices such as metaphor, simile, personification, etc. She tells the students what a quatrain is and reads an example. So everything is being told to them and at most, they have a sheet in front of them. The problem is that the sheet is just of the poem being read and so it helps, but it doesn't teach Hailey what a metaphor is for example; she would have to understand what the teacher is saying to get it. The homework is also told to the students at the end of class.
The theater improv class has the students working in groups and doing improvisational type skits; although not completely improv as they do get to do some planning and preparing before they do their skit. This is very fun and Hailey is enjoying it, but again she is not processing everything and so tells me that she just lets the others take the lead and she has very few lines. She says that she can understand the themes and emotions by the body language and so uses that as her guideline as well as in the groups, the other students do make sure she knows what is going on so that she can perform her part.
In creative writing, she has to write in class as well as at home. The writing at home is something she actually looks forward to doing and does well. She has all the time she needs and she can get help as needed. In class, she feels pressured to write in the limited time frame given and this worry makes it so that she cannot remember how to spell even simple words and she says she even has trouble just making it look neat on the paper. This was shocking to me as she has good handwriting and has always taken great strides to make her handwriting neat and legible. She is also a good speller (which is not that common in people with APD it seems) and so I think her and I were both shocked that she would have these problems.
In creative writing, she has to write in class as well as at home. The writing at home is something she actually looks forward to doing and does well. She has all the time she needs and she can get help as needed. In class, she feels pressured to write in the limited time frame given and this worry makes it so that she cannot remember how to spell even simple words and she says she even has trouble just making it look neat on the paper. This was shocking to me as she has good handwriting and has always taken great strides to make her handwriting neat and legible. She is also a good speller (which is not that common in people with APD it seems) and so I think her and I were both shocked that she would have these problems.
In theater improv class, the teacher has them practice things like accents and tongue twisters and speaking backwards and really fun things like that which makes a lot of sense for a theater class. However, Hailey's APD makes it even more difficult for her to process these and forget having her try to do them; she can say a tongue twister for example if she practices it a lot and even then she has to say it slowly, but on the spot and fast is simply impossible.
So we are taking advice from all our schooled friends with APD (those on the Facebook APD support groups) and asking for accommodations that may help Hailey in her classes. My hope is that we can do all the experimenting at these homeschool center classes and then be prepared and ready for community college in a few years.
So far we are going to record the creative writing class so that Hailey can bring it home and we can go over it together. I can then teach her whatever was taught in class. She is also going to type her in-class writing and e-mail it to her teacher so that she feels less constrained by time, because typing is faster than handwriting and she doesn't have to worry about making it neat.
In theater improv class, the teacher is now aware of the APD issues and will hopefully make sure Hailey works in a group that helps her be her best as well as she won't keep asking her to do tongue twisters; maybe she can focus on more gestures and body language in acting skills.
I'll certainly keep you all updated on what we discover works and what doesn't. I do feel very grateful that Hailey has her background of being homeschooled and knowing that she is very smart and capable of learning and accomplishing whatever she wants to do. I fear that if she hadn't had this successful background to discover herself and feel assured of herself, these experiences of not understanding in class would be too hard on her.
My heart goes out to all the children with APD who go to school everyday to sit in a class where they do not understand what is being taught. My hope is that more and more teachers are using a multi-sensory approach to teaching and not relying on auditory input only. Our children with APD are smart and capable and just need to be taught in a way that works for them.
So we are taking advice from all our schooled friends with APD (those on the Facebook APD support groups) and asking for accommodations that may help Hailey in her classes. My hope is that we can do all the experimenting at these homeschool center classes and then be prepared and ready for community college in a few years.
So far we are going to record the creative writing class so that Hailey can bring it home and we can go over it together. I can then teach her whatever was taught in class. She is also going to type her in-class writing and e-mail it to her teacher so that she feels less constrained by time, because typing is faster than handwriting and she doesn't have to worry about making it neat.
In theater improv class, the teacher is now aware of the APD issues and will hopefully make sure Hailey works in a group that helps her be her best as well as she won't keep asking her to do tongue twisters; maybe she can focus on more gestures and body language in acting skills.
I'll certainly keep you all updated on what we discover works and what doesn't. I do feel very grateful that Hailey has her background of being homeschooled and knowing that she is very smart and capable of learning and accomplishing whatever she wants to do. I fear that if she hadn't had this successful background to discover herself and feel assured of herself, these experiences of not understanding in class would be too hard on her.
My heart goes out to all the children with APD who go to school everyday to sit in a class where they do not understand what is being taught. My hope is that more and more teachers are using a multi-sensory approach to teaching and not relying on auditory input only. Our children with APD are smart and capable and just need to be taught in a way that works for them.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
My APD Homeschooler's First Day of Classes Went Well
So Hailey (almost 13) had her first day of classes at the new homeschooling site we signed up for. She is taking tennis, theater, and 3-D art. To her advantage, she already knows many of the students in her classes as they are friends we have known through homeschooling for years.
She wanted to have the experience of taking classes to see how she could handle it and for the social aspect. I am curious to see if she needs any accommodations for the classes and if she notices any difficulties that we will need to be aware of for her future college career - which she insists will start in two years when she can take college classes as a high school student.
Concerned she might be overwhelmed with it being a new experience, I requested that she start with only the three classes and to make them "fun" classes. Well, she is already talking me into letting her take a fourth class - creative writing. So we are checking to see if there is still a way she can add on one more. Hailey is definitely a reach-for-the-stars kind of person and sees no limits to doing what she wants in life. (This is definitely an asset in her life.)
So as you have guessed by now, she loved the classes! She also adored the experience of eating a rushed lunch with all the other kids and even the idea of having a packed lunch! Seriously, she was excited about the packed lunch; I guess if you aren't a kid who has spent so many years going to school, the novelty of it is pretty exciting.
I'll definitely keep everyone who follows this blog updated on her progress. So look for the amazing adventures of my perseverant, optimistic APD teenager to come. (I'll take time to go back and write past experiences and helpful advice as I can too - especially about the younger years when her future seemed more questionable.)
* UPDATE * : Hailey woke up this morning and decided to do her homework for her theater class. She had to read two articles on public speaking and pick a poem to memorize that she will perform in seven weeks. My sweet, go-get-em girl not only read the articles, but wanted to write them down in entirety; so I told her about this wonderful thing called taking notes and she paraphrased the main ideas and wrote them down instead. Then she picked her poem and started to memorize the first stanza. I couldn't be prouder.
She wanted to have the experience of taking classes to see how she could handle it and for the social aspect. I am curious to see if she needs any accommodations for the classes and if she notices any difficulties that we will need to be aware of for her future college career - which she insists will start in two years when she can take college classes as a high school student.
Concerned she might be overwhelmed with it being a new experience, I requested that she start with only the three classes and to make them "fun" classes. Well, she is already talking me into letting her take a fourth class - creative writing. So we are checking to see if there is still a way she can add on one more. Hailey is definitely a reach-for-the-stars kind of person and sees no limits to doing what she wants in life. (This is definitely an asset in her life.)
So as you have guessed by now, she loved the classes! She also adored the experience of eating a rushed lunch with all the other kids and even the idea of having a packed lunch! Seriously, she was excited about the packed lunch; I guess if you aren't a kid who has spent so many years going to school, the novelty of it is pretty exciting.
I'll definitely keep everyone who follows this blog updated on her progress. So look for the amazing adventures of my perseverant, optimistic APD teenager to come. (I'll take time to go back and write past experiences and helpful advice as I can too - especially about the younger years when her future seemed more questionable.)
* UPDATE * : Hailey woke up this morning and decided to do her homework for her theater class. She had to read two articles on public speaking and pick a poem to memorize that she will perform in seven weeks. My sweet, go-get-em girl not only read the articles, but wanted to write them down in entirety; so I told her about this wonderful thing called taking notes and she paraphrased the main ideas and wrote them down instead. Then she picked her poem and started to memorize the first stanza. I couldn't be prouder.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)