Coping Strategies For Auditory Processing Disorder in Everyday Life

I promised to write a post about coping strategies for Auditory Processing Disorder in terms of just living everyday life.  This is something we have come to over time and developed and changed according to Hailey’s needs at each stage of her life.  Some we learned from therapists, some from experimentation, and some from the helpful advice of other people dealing with APD in their lives or that of their child’s. 

As an almost twelve year old girl, here are some strategies she employs today:

1. She had to learn to not compare herself to children who do not have learning disabilities and to realize that she is incredibly smart and capable to be able to learn all that she does and do as great as she does even with her APD.
2. She had to learn how to manage her day to not be too overwhelmed: not too much socializing or too much having to listen to things. She takes quiet breaks and alone time as needed.
3. She had to learn destressing techniques that help her such as chewing gum (it relaxes her), or smelling something beautiful (she really likes lavender and has some oil she can place on anything to carry around and smell as desired).
4. She focuses on spending one on one time with friends so that she can manage the conversations and feel comfortable and confident.
5. When she has to be in a group of friends, she tries to focus on one kid if possible, and if it is too overwhelming, she finds a way to leave the group without appearing rude. (This is a new one for her and not always easy, but she is trying.)
6. We do math in small increments so as not to be overwhelming, use visuals, and I do not talk too much (We homeschool).
7. We watch documentaries and do hands on learning for a lot of science and social studies.
8. My daughter loves graphic novels/manga books and this has greatly advanced her reading confidence, skills, and she feels like it is a typical pre-teen/teenage girl thing to do as the topics are geared towards that age group.
9. She found an activity that does not require processing auditory input so much and she has a level field with the other kids. This helps her to feel "normal". (It is figure skating for her.)

As a young child, we the parents had to employs strategies to help her cope with her days.  We had to regulate her activity level, environment, and stress levels.   Here are some strategies we used then:

1. We scheduled her day to have auditory breaks where she did not have to listen.
2. We used a sensory diet throughout her day to manage her stress levels; when overwhelmed she would check out from reality and sit in a dazed like state or have major meltdowns.
3. When we had to go to a noisy environment, we used noise reducing headphones, made sure to massage her legs or arms to keep her focused, and protected her from the demands of others. (For example, when the lady at the checkout wanted to ask her questions and she just could not process them, we would answer for her while smiling at her, rubbing her legs, and reassuring her as she got extremely anxious when people spoke to her.)
4. We used picture cards, eye contact, and small phrases only to communicate with her so she would know what we were talking about.(She also required a physical touch to make sure she was aware we were talking to her.)
5. We planned for transitions (going from one activity or environment to the next) by interacting with her at her level, using picture cards, doing sensory diet activities to help her deal with her anxiety, and making sure we brought whatever she needed to bring with her to help her remain calm. (She had a special blanket that we put scents on that she carried everywhere.  We also had chewy toys and strong tasting mints or candies (a sensory calming strategy for her) to give to her as needed.)
6. When it came to academics (or just learning things like language when she was very young), we limited her time to just what she could handle; we used a lot of visuals and kinesthetics to help her understand; we made sure to give her a long amount of time to actually process what she learned; and we repeated things as often as necessary until she got them.
7.  In social situations, we always stayed with her to provide support as needed, and we gave her tools to help her navigate them.  For example, she needed to have the practiced phrase, “Hello, My name is Hailey.  What is your name?” at first.  We also taught her other stock phrases that helped her tremendously like “Do you want to play with me?” and “I like your ______”. (As she got older, we were able to communicate with her how to go with the flow more in socializing and as her receptive and expressive speech skills grew, she was able to not have to use stock phrases anymore.)
8. We made sure all our family and friends were aware of her needs and did not place expectations on her that would create anxiety for her. (This was not readily accepted, but over time it was.)
9. We worked with specialists such as a speech and language therapist, an occupational therapist, an audiologist who specializes in auditory processing disorder, and a special education preschool to implement therapies to help her.

As I read about the experiences of teenagers and young adults, I know that she will have to learn and incorporate more strategies as well as alter the ones she has now to fit new situations.  So as new situations and environments arise, we'll do research, ask others for advice, and do what we can.

Friends Like Me: How Facebook United Kids with Auditory Processing Disorder

Friendship is born at that moment when one person 

says to another, "What! You too? I thought

 I was the only one!" by C. S. Lewis 

Good friends really do make such a difference in one's life.  A few months ago, some of the mothers in our Facebook support group for parents who have children with Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)* decided to get our children in contact with each other.  We live around the world, but a group of us all have girls around the same age with APD.  Inspired by a group of teenage girls we know who have APD and have expressed how much their friendships with each other have been so beneficial to them, we had our girls start writing to each other. Gradually they started to get to know each other and recently they started to Skype and text with one another. It has been fantastic!

If you've been following my posts on this blog, you will remember the post I wrote about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.  One of the important foundations for building self-esteem is to provide a sense of belonging.  Having a processing difference/learning disability can sometimes make fitting in with the other kids a difficult thing for our children.  Many a parent can tell you how our children regularly express the feelings of being singularly different and no one truly understanding what life is like for them.  So providing our girls with not only other people who have APD, but girls their own age who have APD, has provided them with a sense of belonging that goes beyond what any of us probably ever imagined.

So thank you Mark Zuckerberg for creating Facebook!  I know Mark never intended or even imagined that Facebook would be helpful to a group of children with Auditory Processing Disorder, but in an indirect way, it has connected people who would not have otherwise even met.  (Also thank you Niklas Zennstrom for creating Skype which connects our girls face-to-face.)

* The group is for both parents of children with APD and individuals themselves who have APD.  My post from February 27, 2012 has the names of these groups for anyone who is interested.

APD Awareness: Having APD is sort of like Speaking a Foreign Language

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) can be subtle and because of this, children with APD are often penalized as being non-caring, not-intelligent, and/or not-attentive.  The reality is so far from this non-understanding viewpoint.

Imagine if you can being in a foreign country.  You know the language to some extent, but you have to process everything you hear from the foreign language to your native language to understand and back to the foreign language to communicate.  It takes time.  Sometimes the person speaking to you doesn't realize this time delay and they speak too rapidly for you to process everything.  Or maybe people are speaking over each other and it is difficult to hear exactly what is being said.  So you process about 2 to 3 words maximum out of every sentence.  You try piecing this fragmented information together to make some sort of sense.  Of course by this time the person speaking to you thinks you are rudely not responding.  Then, when you do say something, the person looks at you like you are a complete idiot because your response is actually not accurate for the conversation.  You try to apologize and explain that you speak a different language and you're doing your best.  But what if they don't believe you?  What if they think you are simply  non-caring, not-intelligent, and not paying attention?  This happens to people with APD all the time!

Of course, just like you can translate the foreign language if given the time you need to do so (and maybe some clarification here and there), so can our kids with APD.  You can also speak intelligent sentences and express your wonderful thoughts and ideas even in the foreign language if given the time to do so.  Sure you might forget a word here or there or conjugate a verb incorrectly, but that's really no big deal so long as the person you are speaking to is understanding and patient.  It is no less important that our children with APD have people be understanding and patient with them.

It is my hope that the world becomes aware of Auditory Processing Disorder and uses that knowledge to show compassion to people with APD.  Be understanding!  Be patient!  Give them the time and respect they need to shine!  They ARE intelligent, attentive, and caring.